


Bad and Skeppy visit a bar

by AlpineFresh



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (That's a lie), Attempt at Humor, Bad Flirting, Bars, Gen, I'm so sleep deprived it's not even funny anymore, It Makes Sense in Context, crack-fic, not shipping though, protective skeppy, surprising lack of alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26476432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlpineFresh/pseuds/AlpineFresh
Summary: Bad and Skeppy attempt to go to a bar.I was feeling a tad frustrated because I ended up scrapping over ten pages of another fic I'm working on because it's not flowing properly. I really just needed to write something that didn't have to be taken seriously.
Relationships: Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 7
Kudos: 74





	Bad and Skeppy visit a bar

**Author's Note:**

> Wiggidy Wiggidy, what's up dog diggidy?
> 
> I'm working on the post apocalypse fic, but I mean, there's a reason why I only write fics with a couple thousand words, my attention span is kinda trash, lol.
> 
> No trigger warnings, unless garbage flirting and minor swearing counts as a mortifying occurrence.

“Oh wow, I’ve never been to a bar before, they’re so obnoxious and loud,” Bad marveled as he walked into the building with Skeppy at his side.

“Yeah, well they’ve gotta entertain the drunks somehow,” Skeppy pointed out.

“True,” Bad hummed.

Skeppy took him by the hand and dragged him over to the counter, “Uhh, can we get some alcohol please? I swear we’re not toddlers stacked on top of each other,” he told the bartender.

The spunky looking lady across the counter raised a brow, “Anything in particular?” She asked slowly.

Bad nodded, “Water.”

The bartender squinted at him, “Are you sure? Water doesn’t have any traces of alcohol in it,” she pointed out.

Bad huffed quietly, “Fine, can I get a grapefruit rosemary mimosa?”

The bartender gave an affirmative hum before looking at Skeppy expectantly. The man was staring at the menu, expression the human equivalent of a bluescreen. Bad nudged his friend gently in the side, causing the other to jump slightly.

“Oh! Sorry, can I have a… Photosynthesis alcoholic beverage?” He asked.

The bartender wasn’t the only one squinting now, Bad pinched the bridge of his nose with a disappointed sigh. “ _Skeppy_ , you can’t just add long words into sentences and hope it’ll work out,” he berated.

“Fine, I’ll just get whatever you ordered then!” Skeppy decided.

Bad let his gaze wander around the room as the lady started mixing their drinks. A young woman who was deffo smashed stumbled over and sat down in the barstool next to Bad.

“Hey big boy, are you out of this world, cuz you’re wearin space pants…” The woman paused as she thought over her wording.

“...Fuck,” she muttered.

“Hey, language!” Bad gasped.

The woman waved her hand dismissively, “Hold on, let me try that again.”

Skeppy was peering over his shoulder now, Bad elected to ignore it for the time being.

The woman cleared her throat, “Here, feel my shirt-” she held out her arm and Bad hesitantly touched the fabric of her sleeve, “-You wanna know what it’s made of?” She asked.

“Sure??”

She grinned, “Boyfriend material… _Fuck_ \- I meant girlfriend material! _Girlfriend_!”

“Language! And what do you mean? That felt like cotton, there’s no such thing as girlfriend material,” Bad puzzled.

Skeppy made a low noise, “Grr, ruff! Bark bark bark! Snarl, bark bark!” He shouted.

Bad covered his friend’s mouth to stop him from causing any more of a scene then he already had. “What the heck Skeppy? You can’t just bark at people because they were incorrect about what type of fabric their shirt is made from,” he scolded.

Skeppy glared at the woman, pushing Bad’s hand away. “Hey Bad, can I have a hug?”

Bad blinked, confused by the sudden subject change. “I- yeah, sure.” He turned on the stool to give Skeppy a hug.

He couldn’t see it, but Skeppy was smiling smugly at the woman as he hugged his best friend. _‘Haha_ ,’ he mouthed, sticking his tongue out at her. 

The drinks they ordered were all but slammed down on the counter. “My god, drunks are the fuckin worst at flirtin” The bartender muttered.

“Language.” Bad pulled away from the hug to give the lady a disapproving stare.

“Oh no, I said a swear in a place made for drunk idiots, whatever will I do,” she deadpanned.

Skeppy’s shoulders shook with laughter that Bad couldn’t quite hear over the blasting music. “Why are you laughing? Naughty words aren’t a laughing matter,” Bad stressed.

Skeppy laughed a little louder, “No- it’s just that she’s right! Trying to stop people from swearing in a bar is so dumb!”

“What- no it’s not! I’m being responsible!” Bad argued.

The drunk woman who Bad had honestly forgotten about spoke up again. “Soo… Can I get back to flirting now, or…?”

Skeppy pouted, “No! Stop flirting with him, it’s weird and he doesn’t even understand flirting!” He denied.

“Trust me, I’ve been trying for years, he doesn’t understand any of it!” Skeppy exclaimed exasperatedly.

Bad looked between the two, “What? Flirting? What do you mean?” He questioned.

Skeppy ignored him, giving the woman a deadpan stare. The woman winced, “That's rough, buddy. Wanna talk about it?”

Bad felt like tearing his hair out, “Oh my goodness! What do you two mean? What’s rough? Skeppy, are you feeling alright?” Bad queried.

The woman cackled, “Oh man, good luck. I’ma go throw more pickup lines at strangers until I get some ass,” she announced with a brief two finger salute as she hopped off her seat and stumbled off into the crowd.

“Bars are the worst, come on Bad, let’s go.” Skeppy hooked his arm around Bad’s and pulled him along towards the door.

Bad looked back at the two abandoned drinks at the counter. “Wait- Skeppy! We didn’t pay for those yet!”

“We didn’t even touch them, someone else can pay for it,” Skeppy insisted, already half out the door.

“That’s not how it works,” Bad grumbled, letting Skeppy drag him out of the bar anyway.

Whatever, he didn’t even like alcohol, so this outcome was practically a win in his books. Besides, Bad wanted to hang out with his best friend, bars weren’t exactly the best place for that.

A fond smile tugged at Bad’s lips as Skeppy dragged him over to a duck pond. Yeah, he was fine with this...

**Author's Note:**

> Eyy, hope you're doing well.
> 
> ngl, this was partially just an excuse to make Skeppy bark at some random person. 
> 
> Get some sleep if you need it. I've had the same headache all day because of my trash sleep schedule, it's not worth it.
> 
> (maybe) see you soon!


End file.
